So, we are coming up on Christmas and, for the first time ever, I’m not especially looking forward to it. I’ve been in a “bad place” lately and just can’t seem to get out of it. No motivation, no joy and no “umph”. Sure, the decorations are up and the shopping is mostly done. Of course, the holiday party invites have been sent..I’m going through the motions..but doing nothing more. It’s not you, Christmas, it’s me.
I’ve decided that 2014 will be my year to find joy. That is my word of the year – JOY. I hope to find it through exploring art (I’ve signed up for some courses to help me with that) and exploring me. What makes me “tick”, what brings me joy, what makes me want to get out of bed in the morning (besides the dogs whining to go out). What my true passions are. I’m working for myself now, but not finding joy in it. I know the joy is there somewhere, but I don’t know where to find it. I’m confident that I will find it in 2014.
My heart has always been in words and creating..perhaps, I’ll find the joy and my true life’s passion there.
Below, is my first face (that sounds funny, doesn’t it?), that I drew in the Tamara LaPorte’s Fabulous Faces course. I’ve only done week one, so far (I know, it’s easy to figure that one out). I’ve been looking at this face and realizing that it represents me, now, in a few important ways:
- My eyes have always been my best feature
- She is staring blankly
- The mouth is not smiling
- She is just there
Yes, yes, I know..this all sounds so down and depressing..it is..BUT..I know that there is JOY right around the corner and I am on a mission to hunt it down and embrace it!
So how will I find joy this year?
Through art, through self-examination (not self-breast examination, although that is VERY important, too! – take care of the Tatas!)..through counseling and discussion, through trying new things, through journaling (art and written), through meds (yep, no sense in pretending otherwise!) and more. I want to be the best version of myself that I can.
I can see JOY around the corner…and she is taunting me..I’m gonna find that bitch! 😀
Till next time…